Several people have asked me about my blog in the last few weeks, so I am going to answer the call, and post, be it ever so sporadic. Today, I felt more peace in my soul than I have in a long, long time. I cannot tell you exactly why. Not that it is a secret, but because I really do not know. So many things have changed in the last few days, weeks, months. I am sure quiting my old job, which I hated, and finding a new job, which I think I love, has a lot to do with my new found peace. As does Matt quiting his job, and shedding 15 pounds of stress. We are in a weird state of topsy-turvy, which seems to be our normal, however it always takes some getting used to. I have been saying for years that after such and such time/event/accomplishment we are going to have a normal, easy life. I have also said over and over again that I am going to quit saying that. Really, I do not think we will ever be settled, secure, or stable. I am working on being okay with that, and I must be making some progress because even in the midst of our craziness my heart is at rest.
On a completely unrelated note, I also realized today that something really important has started to take place...we have started getting comfortable in our new family dynamic. I know Tabitha has been here for six months, but just recently being a family of four has shifted from being a tremendous challenge to completely normal. I do not know what made me realize that we had finally reached our cruising altitude, but all of a sudden my ears popped and I settled comfortable into my seat for the ride. It makes me happy.
5 comments:
YEA!! I came home and you had posted something. Your writing makes me happy. Thank you for sharing. Love you and I have missed the family of 4.
I'm not sure what normal is (or if its over-rated :D) I try to simply distinquish between surviving and living - sometimes life is one and sometimes it is the other.
I seriously wish I could come remodel your bathroom! :D I also seriously wish that we had two bathrooms.
thanks for writing!
the end :)
I felt the exact same way when Chi turned 6 months! Welcome to the fun part, it just gets better from here.
I think topsy-turvy is our state of normal too. Some days, I crave stability, but I'm usually just grateful that our life is full of varying degrees of adventure. I dig your airplane analogy, by the way. Six months is perfect cruising altitude. :)
I'm so glad you posted! And so glad that things are good there. So, so glad.
You know, I think that sometimes we look *back* and realize that things were calmer and better and more stable than we realized. I had this odd moment this week where I thought back on an experience 10 years ago, and I realized that I was so much happier in that moment than I thought I was. And I thought: I want to know in the present how good things are. You know?
Love love love.
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